It's an ugly day out. The heavens have opened and the angels are shedding their tears today. It's very dark and dreary. It's the ugliest day I've seen in sometime. Lightening everywhere. Flooding. Tornado watches and warnings. It foretells of sadness...
The doctor with Palliative Care came for an assessment today, along with Kath's surgeon and it was not good. This is hard to write. It's been very hard on the family, especially on my Grama... The doctors determined that the surgery was not successful and the scleroderma has completely taken over... Kath gave a DNR order and they have to abide by her wish. The ventilator was removed.
On the upside, Kath is awake and responsive today and it has been nice to be able to see her beautiful smile again. She's been able to talk some to us by a very gentle whisper with very few words. It's a wonderful blessing that we are so grateful for. To hear her tell us that she loves us has been music to our ears that we'll never forget, but will long to hear again, I'm sure in the near future.
She stayed pretty medicated throughout the day and night so visiting was very minimal as was communicating with Kath. Her energy is extremely low. Her fever is high and rising. Her pain is extremely high. It fluctuates between 8 and 10. She cannot be touched at all without putting her in worse pain. It's so heartbreaking. You want to hold her hand or rub her freezing cold feet, but it's too excruciating for her. She's breaking out in blisters from all the fluids - it has no where else to go. Just more pain... As if she didn't already have enough...
We pray they can make her comfortable and ease her pain. How will we make it without her...??? My Grama... My heart just aches for her... Mothers should not have to go through the loss of their children -- of any age!!
Showing posts with label surgeon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label surgeon. Show all posts
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
DAY 5 -- SUNDAY, 17 JANUARY 2010
Four days in ICU and no major setbacks. No improvements, but no setbacks. Kathey still maintains good color. Her BP is still good, as well as her pulse rate. Her CVP [central venous pressure] is lower today, but I noticed she doesn’t have as many bags hooked up to her, so perhaps that’s to be expected. I learned that today, Kath’s bowels have been working since day one -- that’s a very good thing as it was a huge concern right after surgery if her small bowel (intestine) would work again after the surgery. So I was glad to learn that today. She didn’t open her eyes while I was there today. I’m actually glad of that as I think the more she rests, the less she’s aware of her pain and perhaps the more she’ll heal.
Grama was able to talk with Kath’s surgeon while we were there. She said Kath’s urine output was better, and that the other doctor may reconsider taking Kath off the ventilator in the next couple of days.
Kathey’s daytime nurse, Darlene, atleast she's the one she’s had thus far, has taken good care of her. Kathey is a neat-freak. Darlene brushes Kath’s teeth and puts drops in her eyes, washes her face, and more… These are things that we can obviously see that is getting done every day… I’m so thankful that she’s being taken care of while we aren’t there and really aren't able to do these things for her with all the hook-ups she has.
I seen that Kath is receiving FAT!!! I had to take a picture of it! Can you believe it??? FAT!!! Yes, fat, the stuff that most people want to lose! So I took a picture of it and a few other things -- and got in trouble… Bummer! I didn’t mean to get in trouble… But I just couldn’t resist the one of the bag of fat emulsifier! :-)
Grama was able to talk with Kath’s surgeon while we were there. She said Kath’s urine output was better, and that the other doctor may reconsider taking Kath off the ventilator in the next couple of days.
Kathey’s daytime nurse, Darlene, atleast she's the one she’s had thus far, has taken good care of her. Kathey is a neat-freak. Darlene brushes Kath’s teeth and puts drops in her eyes, washes her face, and more… These are things that we can obviously see that is getting done every day… I’m so thankful that she’s being taken care of while we aren’t there and really aren't able to do these things for her with all the hook-ups she has.
I seen that Kath is receiving FAT!!! I had to take a picture of it! Can you believe it??? FAT!!! Yes, fat, the stuff that most people want to lose! So I took a picture of it and a few other things -- and got in trouble… Bummer! I didn’t mean to get in trouble… But I just couldn’t resist the one of the bag of fat emulsifier! :-)
Please continue to pray for my Aunt!
DAY 4 -- SATURDAY, 16 JANUARY 2010
Kathey rested all night once her drip was increased to more than 3 times the original amount. It still bothers me to think how miserable and how bad the pain must have been when she woke up from the anesthesia… I love her so much… She continues to rest well today.
Her surgeon looked in on her early this morning while admitting another patient into ICU at my request. I was also blessed with being able to see her again and talk to her later this morning. She said she’s pleased with the increase of Kathey’s urine output lately. She mentioned that though Kathey is past the original 48-hours 1st discussed that she’s still not out of the woods. I don’t think it takes an MD to give that diagnosis. She also said that after looking at the notes from the respiratory therapists she was going to let her partner who is the ICU doctor in charge make the assessment and decision of when to take Kath off the ventilator. We’re hoping that it will be today so that perhaps Kath will be able to ask for meds herself when we’re not around to speak up for her.
I think it will be a long time before I ever get over my aunt Kath looking at me with such pleading and tears in her eyes to take her home…. Oh, how my heart just broke….
Her surgeon looked in on her early this morning while admitting another patient into ICU at my request. I was also blessed with being able to see her again and talk to her later this morning. She said she’s pleased with the increase of Kathey’s urine output lately. She mentioned that though Kathey is past the original 48-hours 1st discussed that she’s still not out of the woods. I don’t think it takes an MD to give that diagnosis. She also said that after looking at the notes from the respiratory therapists she was going to let her partner who is the ICU doctor in charge make the assessment and decision of when to take Kath off the ventilator. We’re hoping that it will be today so that perhaps Kath will be able to ask for meds herself when we’re not around to speak up for her.
I think it will be a long time before I ever get over my aunt Kath looking at me with such pleading and tears in her eyes to take her home…. Oh, how my heart just broke….
The ICU doctor assessed Kath -- he’s not going to give the order to remove the ventilator… His reasoning is understandable. He said it will be a long time before he considers it…. Ugh! Boy this really bites for my aunt! She’s just on such high does of meds….
Well, tomorrow is another day, I pray for progress in the right direction!
Well, tomorrow is another day, I pray for progress in the right direction!
KATHEY'S KORNER
I begin this blog so that my aunt will know what all she’s went through when she is well enough to take over the blogging herself. You’ll never meet another person who is such a fighter as my Aunt Kathey. My aunt suffers from a nasty disease called, scleroderma. It’s controlled her life for several years now, but most severely this past year. In the past 2 ½ months, she’s been hospitalized 4 times. This last time has brought us to this blog. The scleroderma caused necrosis in her small intestines causing her surgeon to remove as much as possible of her small intestines to save her life, but yet leave enough to allow her to live. We cannot live with out the precious organ of our small intestines. She has the bare minimum.
As of today, 4 days after surgery, we still do not know if what remains has necrosis or even scleroderma. The surgeon took as much as possible of what was diseased and dead, leaving what she had no choice to leave… not knowing what could be left on the fringes of what is left…
Kathey remains in ICU, in a critical state and very severe pain. We had hoped that on day 3 the ventilator would come out, but after her surgeon’s partner evaluated her he made the decision not to remove it anytime soon. The explanation made good sense and is in the best interest of my aunt, though I’m sure at this time if she knew our thoughts, she’d probably hate us all. She wants it out, along with the NG tube and she wants to come home. She hates being in hospitals. Due to the high amounts of pain medications she is on, the smallest increase or decrease could cause her vitals &/or respiratory distress requiring her to be incubated again and time is of the essence and Kath doesn’t have time -- that’s how critical she is. Thus the need for her to continue with the ventilator. The good news she is breathing 80% on her own.
I seen for myself what too little pain meds do to her vitals and breathing. It’s not pretty. My heart was broken. My aunt DOES NOT COMPLAIN -- EVER!!! And to see her in so much pain…. I couldn’t take it! I did not want to leave her side. NO ONE should ever have to endure so much pain as she was having to endure at that time. She was getting X amount of drips of pain meds per hour at the time and then it was upped to more than 3 times the original amount of continuous drips per hour.. Once the drip was changed, my aunt was able to calm down and sleep once again. As well as the meds for sedation were able to kick in. She has such a high tolerance to meds that what would normally work for you and I -- it takes so much more for her.
Now, her surgeon’s partner wants to try to back her off some of the pain meds, because he doesn’t like her being on such high doses. I wish they wouldn’t reduce her pain meds anytime soon. She needs to rest to heal. It’s too soon to put her through this right now.
She still only has a 50/50 chance of survival at this time. Don’t make her suffer…
We all pray -- All the time…
If you are reading this … Please pray for my aunt… She needs all the prayers she can possibly get at this time. I do believe in the power of prayer, as does she. This I know.
God bless all!
-- Tonya
As of today, 4 days after surgery, we still do not know if what remains has necrosis or even scleroderma. The surgeon took as much as possible of what was diseased and dead, leaving what she had no choice to leave… not knowing what could be left on the fringes of what is left…
Kathey remains in ICU, in a critical state and very severe pain. We had hoped that on day 3 the ventilator would come out, but after her surgeon’s partner evaluated her he made the decision not to remove it anytime soon. The explanation made good sense and is in the best interest of my aunt, though I’m sure at this time if she knew our thoughts, she’d probably hate us all. She wants it out, along with the NG tube and she wants to come home. She hates being in hospitals. Due to the high amounts of pain medications she is on, the smallest increase or decrease could cause her vitals &/or respiratory distress requiring her to be incubated again and time is of the essence and Kath doesn’t have time -- that’s how critical she is. Thus the need for her to continue with the ventilator. The good news she is breathing 80% on her own.
I seen for myself what too little pain meds do to her vitals and breathing. It’s not pretty. My heart was broken. My aunt DOES NOT COMPLAIN -- EVER!!! And to see her in so much pain…. I couldn’t take it! I did not want to leave her side. NO ONE should ever have to endure so much pain as she was having to endure at that time. She was getting X amount of drips of pain meds per hour at the time and then it was upped to more than 3 times the original amount of continuous drips per hour.. Once the drip was changed, my aunt was able to calm down and sleep once again. As well as the meds for sedation were able to kick in. She has such a high tolerance to meds that what would normally work for you and I -- it takes so much more for her.
Now, her surgeon’s partner wants to try to back her off some of the pain meds, because he doesn’t like her being on such high doses. I wish they wouldn’t reduce her pain meds anytime soon. She needs to rest to heal. It’s too soon to put her through this right now.
She still only has a 50/50 chance of survival at this time. Don’t make her suffer…
We all pray -- All the time…
If you are reading this … Please pray for my aunt… She needs all the prayers she can possibly get at this time. I do believe in the power of prayer, as does she. This I know.
God bless all!
-- Tonya
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