DAY 3 -- FRIDAY, 15 JANUARY 2010

It’s closing in on the 48 hours and she’s coming out of the anesthesia. She’s waking up and feeling the pain. I don’t like that she’s so alert and aware of her pain. She’s asking to go home. I told her I’d take her home when she got better and tears came out of her eyes. Someone put me out of my misery. My heart is shattered and the pain is unbearable. I hate seeing my sweet aunt is so much dang pain!!! They’ve tied her hands to the bed! I’m claustrophobic and feel an anxiety attack building rapidly so I ask her nurse why she’s tied. I’m told that she took her NG tube out twice yesterday… But she allows me to untie her hands as long as I stay in the room with her. It’s a deal! So while her hands are untied I gently rub them and try to bend her fingers ever so gently trying to work the stiffness out of them. Her hands and fingers are so swollen. They are about 3-4 sizes larger than normal due to all the hydration she’s being pumped with. That and the lack of movement, I’m assuming. She’s a beautiful sight to see lying there breathing in and out!

Her pulse rate is down a bit, BP is up a bit and her CVP is up as well. Urine output is still too low, considering she received 14 bags of fluid yesterday. That must be why she’s so swollen. She also received 2 units of blood today. It was either because of yesterdays fluids that her blood was really thinned out, and Kath just needed a little extra. Or from the surgery, because there was a little blood in the stool and they didn’t know if Kathey had some internal bleeding… After a 2nd blood sample, [Thank you, God] we found there was no internal bleeding!

I’m staying the night with her -- as I cannot bear to leave her in case the pain meds wear down again and she becomes too awake and more aware of her pain.

Tonight I told her why she was in ICU… and in so much pain… I hope I didn’t make a mistake… She was looking at me with so many questions in her eyes. I’ve always been honest and open with my aunt -- I couldn’t lie -- she’d know if I was. Besides she deserved to know how well she’s been fighting a great fight!

DAY 2 -- THURSDAY, 14 JANUARY 2010

Day two, and she’s still fighting! Yeah! Her blood pressure is still too low and her pulse rate is too high… Her urine output is too low, but to be expected especially considering how dehydrated she was, is what the nurse tells me. Her CVP [central venous pressure] is a 3 and the nurse would like for it to be a 10-12 within the next 24 hours…. It’s a 3 due to the dehydration. Dehydration, again. She has bags hanging everywhere. Her face is so swollen as well as her fingers and hands. I’ve never seen so many tubes and wires in my life.

She’s still hooked up to an NG tube as well as the ventilator. I’m glad they are providing her with oxygen. I’m also glad, it’s not life support. I do have to say, that her color is much better than I expected -- could be an effect from the anesthesia or one of the meds she’s receiving… I take hope that it’s her color!

KATHEY'S KORNER

I begin this blog so that my aunt will know what all she’s went through when she is well enough to take over the blogging herself. You’ll never meet another person who is such a fighter as my Aunt Kathey. My aunt suffers from a nasty disease called, scleroderma. It’s controlled her life for several years now, but most severely this past year. In the past 2 ½ months, she’s been hospitalized 4 times. This last time has brought us to this blog. The scleroderma caused necrosis in her small intestines causing her surgeon to remove as much as possible of her small intestines to save her life, but yet leave enough to allow her to live. We cannot live with out the precious organ of our small intestines. She has the bare minimum.

As of today, 4 days after surgery, we still do not know if what remains has necrosis or even scleroderma. The surgeon took as much as possible of what was diseased and dead, leaving what she had no choice to leave… not knowing what could be left on the fringes of what is left…

Kathey remains in ICU, in a critical state and very severe pain. We had hoped that on day 3 the ventilator would come out, but after her surgeon’s partner evaluated her he made the decision not to remove it anytime soon. The explanation made good sense and is in the best interest of my aunt, though I’m sure at this time if she knew our thoughts, she’d probably hate us all. She wants it out, along with the NG tube and she wants to come home. She hates being in hospitals. Due to the high amounts of pain medications she is on, the smallest increase or decrease could cause her vitals &/or respiratory distress requiring her to be incubated again and time is of the essence and Kath doesn’t have time -- that’s how critical she is. Thus the need for her to continue with the ventilator. The good news she is breathing 80% on her own.

I seen for myself what too little pain meds do to her vitals and breathing. It’s not pretty. My heart was broken. My aunt DOES NOT COMPLAIN -- EVER!!! And to see her in so much pain…. I couldn’t take it! I did not want to leave her side. NO ONE should ever have to endure so much pain as she was having to endure at that time. She was getting X amount of drips of pain meds per hour at the time and then it was upped to more than 3 times the original amount of continuous drips per hour.. Once the drip was changed, my aunt was able to calm down and sleep once again. As well as the meds for sedation were able to kick in. She has such a high tolerance to meds that what would normally work for you and I -- it takes so much more for her.

Now, her surgeon’s partner wants to try to back her off some of the pain meds, because he doesn’t like her being on such high doses. I wish they wouldn’t reduce her pain meds anytime soon. She needs to rest to heal. It’s too soon to put her through this right now.

She still only has a 50/50 chance of survival at this time. Don’t make her suffer…

We all pray -- All the time…

If you are reading this … Please pray for my aunt… She needs all the prayers she can possibly get at this time. I do believe in the power of prayer, as does she. This I know.

God bless all!

-- Tonya