It's been rough not having you close by, Kath. We all miss you so much. I know that you are in my heart and that you are listening to me, but oh how I wish I could hear you speak to me. How I wish I could give you a hug. Just one little smile... We all have our good days and our good moments when we think "okay, Kath, we can do this while you watch from above" and then BAM! something just brings us stumbling to our knees...
I came stumbling to my knees today in a crashing wreck of a mess today, Kath. I'm sorry. I know you're upset with me over it. I just couldn't help myself. I thought I was doing "okay". But I don't know what happened. I was working away and next thing I knew someone came in and told me that one of the guys mom died today. And I thought "okay, I can handle this - this is the 3rd death since Kath died, I can handle it. Today's her memorial. I can handle this..." And I was okay - really, I mean, I could tell my mood was lower than it was, but I was okay. Until 30 minutes later when I got word that another employee lost his sister this afternoon who was about your age, Kath. And then I kinda just came to a skidding halt and lost it. I was a mess. I'm sorry. I'm still a mess. I know this isn't what you want, Kath. I'm real sorry - I am. I promise to do better tomorrow, but right now, I just have to get through tonight...
I miss you, Kath... So much...
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