My Comfort Picture

February 2009, Kath & Grama @ Tonya's home

Slow Healing...

It's been rough not having you close by, Kath. We all miss you so much. I know that you are in my heart and that you are listening to me, but oh how I wish I could hear you speak to me. How I wish I could give you a hug. Just one little smile...  We all have our good days and our good moments when we think "okay, Kath, we can do this while you watch from above" and then BAM! something just brings us stumbling to our knees...

I came stumbling to my knees today in a crashing wreck of a mess today, Kath. I'm sorry. I know you're upset with me over it. I just couldn't help myself. I thought I was doing "okay". But I don't know what happened. I was working away and next thing I knew someone came in and told me that one of the guys mom died today. And I thought "okay, I can handle this - this is the 3rd death since Kath died, I can handle it. Today's her memorial. I can handle this..." And I was okay - really, I mean, I could tell my mood was lower than it was, but I was okay. Until 30 minutes later when I got word that another employee lost his sister this afternoon who was about your age, Kath. And then I kinda just came to a skidding halt and lost it. I was a mess. I'm sorry. I'm still a mess. I know this isn't what you want, Kath. I'm real sorry - I am. I promise to do better tomorrow, but right now, I just have to get through tonight...

I miss you, Kath... So much...

At some point I think we all wonder what will my legacy be, what will people remember about my time on this earth. When I think of Kath, I think of many things. Her thoughtfullness, her strength, her compassion, but mostly her generosity. Her unending, unlimited generosity.

I came across a poem the other day and as I read it I thought, Wow! If Kath could give us words of comfort right now (and we all know she would) I think it would probably be something like this . . .

Remember . . .

I'm There, In Your Heart

I know there is sorrow

where laughter once played,

And lingering tears,

causing gladness to fade,

But there's a sweet comfort

our memories impart,

So always remember . . .

I'm There, In Your Heart

You'll be forever in my heart Kath
Love Connie